Gnarly Good News: The New Testament

1 The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

1 Okay dude, so like, this is the totally official family scroll of Jesus Christ — the Messiah, the Anointed One, the guy the whole Old Testament has been building toward. And get this — he’s the son of David, who was literally the greatest king Israel ever had. Like, this dude killed a giant with a rock when he was a teenager, united the whole nation, and God personally called him ‘a man after my own heart.’ Royalty doesn’t get more legit than David, bro. And before David? Abraham. THE Abraham. The dude God pulled aside like four thousand years ago and said, ‘I’m going to make a nation out of you, and through your family, every single person on earth is going to be blessed.’ That’s not just a promise — that’s a covenant.

2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren;

2 So check it — Abraham had Isaac. And yeah, that’s the Isaac that God literally asked Abraham to sacrifice on a mountain as a test of faith — gnarly story, bro, we’ll get there. Isaac had Jacob, and Jacob is the dude who literally wrestled with an angel all night and God renamed him Israel. Like, the entire nation is named after this guy. And Jacob had Judas — that’s Judah — and his brothers. There were twelve brothers total, and they became the twelve tribes of Israel. The whole nation, dude.